diff --git a/modules/home-manager/swaylock.nix b/modules/home-manager/swaylock.nix
index e135324..93e490b 100644
--- a/modules/home-manager/swaylock.nix
+++ b/modules/home-manager/swaylock.nix
@@ -2,12 +2,38 @@
 let
   inherit (config.catppuccin) sources;
   cfg = config.programs.swaylock.catppuccin;
-  enable = cfg.enable && config.programs.swaylock.enable;
 in
 {
-  options.programs.swaylock.catppuccin = lib.ctp.mkCatppuccinOpt "swaylock";
+  options.programs.swaylock.catppuccin = {
+    enable = lib.mkEnableOption "Catppuccin theme" // {
+      /*
+        global `catppuccin.enable` purposefully doesn't work here in configurations with a `home.stateVersion`
+        that is >= 23.05
 
-  config = lib.mkIf enable {
+        this is because the upstream module will automatically enable itself if `programs.swaylock.settings`
+        is set in configurations with a `home.stateVersion` that is < 23.05. so, we can't use the
+        `programs.swaylock.enable` option to guard against defining this like we usually do, as when the
+        upstream `enable` option is unset on these systems it checks that same `settings` option we would be
+        defining if *our* and the upstream's `enable` option is `true` ...leading to a case of infinite
+        recursion where `programs.swaylock.settings` is only being defined if `programs.swaylock.settings` is
+        defined
+
+        debugging this was the most confusing and horrifying thing i've had to deal with throughout working on
+        this project.
+        - @getchoo
+      */
+      default = lib.versionAtLeast config.home.stateVersion "23.05" && config.catppuccin.enable;
+      defaultText = lib.literalExpression ''
+        `catppuccin.enable` if `home.stateVersion` is >= 23.05, false otherwise
+
+        Yes this is weird, and there's a funny story about it in the code comments
+      '';
+    };
+
+    flavor = lib.ctp.mkFlavorOpt "swaylock";
+  };
+
+  config = lib.mkIf cfg.enable {
     programs.swaylock.settings = lib.ctp.fromINI (sources.swaylock + "/themes/${cfg.flavor}.conf");
   };
 }